My Life!

Dear Andrew,
I wanted to write this letter to tell you how I really feel about our breakup. I’m hurt bad. I feel like you took the biggest part of me away. I remember our first date. We went to that horrible Tom cruise movie. Leaving the movie to go to the dam, the feeling of you touching me, kissing me, holding me, it was amazing made me believe I was worth something again. Now that feeling is gone, and I’m list without you. When I look back at our relationship my heart breaks. My favorite nights of my college experience all have you in them. Going to cams, to mikes, driving around, and going to you place. I remember everywhere we’ve had sex. Cams shower, cams floor, cams bed, cams couch, you bed, your front and back seat, my dorm room & basin. I love you, even though you are done with me and you don’t love me anymore. I understand now why you left. Maybe if I had tried harder to make you happy, or left you alone when you were with LaDawn. I get I that I ruined us, that I’m the reason you’re gone. I with things were different, I wish you still were mine and that you still loved me. There isn’t a day that goes by that you aren’t on my mind. I kiss you a bunch. I regret a lot of things one of the biggest was letting you go. I really wanted you to stay. I still dream about you, and what my life would be like if we contined our plan; elope, have kids and be happy. I still want you.
Anyways I love you Andrew.

Love always,
Kaitlyn Christine Haider

So today, I woke up and I was so happy to hear that Andrew broke up with his girl cuz idk why idc why I’m just happy he’s single and that I can you know whenever I want. My heart melted when he put his arms around me. Even if he was trying to crack my back. It still fluttered…but its okay because he isn’t over me I don’t think anymore and I AM SOOOOO HAPPY!

I’ve been thinking about Andrew, he was a great guy/boyfriend/best friend. And even though I didn’t make him happy, I should be lucky maybe even grateful that I got to try…

I miss him…he’s probably the best I’ve ever had, best I’m ever going to have…

It’s killing me knowing that I lost such a big part of me. I’ll never forget him..I’m not ready to move on I might still love him. But I know he is done with me, I know he doesn’t care, I know he has no feelings left, and he doesn’t want me anymore for anything. 

He’s gone…he’s left me for good.

The painful feeling of losing someone you cannot forget. I’m having a hard time dealing with this. I’m really scared…what if he WAS the ONE and I ruined it?!

It really is OVER! I keep wishing this was all a dream a beautiful chaotic dream…But he really is gone, isn’t he? He’s gone…he left just like everyone else….he’s gone. And I really really miss him.

It’s weird cause I had this dream about a big/medium sized wedding with Baker. But now that is nothing but a dream and so is him ever wanting me again. I miss him this is really hard…I hate this!!!!

Aurora Whitlock was born in Washington (The state) to @Jasper_W_ and @OrgasmicAliWhit. Jasper left the family for some reason that we still don’t know yet. Alice stayed with the Cullen’s but couldn’t stand to look at Aurora because she thought that, Aurora was the reason Jasper left. So she sent her to Italy where she was adopted then abandoned again after a house fire. When Aurora turned 19 she met @Dreamdemon1428 (@FreddyKruger15) and he turned her part-demon. He helped her find the confidence she needed to stay strong after everyone close to her left. Aurora had developed a crush on her Master Freddy, she didn’t know he was married. Then when he finally told her that he was married to @seducing_soul she backed off. After awhile she found @GleekJonHowe who she thought she was in love with but turned out to not be in love with him after all.

After a few weeks, of being single she decided to turn Bi, she met @iamaminion and she thought she liked her but when Aurora met @Bludhavens_Bomb she fell head over heels in love with him…
and now they are dating and happy. :D

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Quotes:

I hate people that say age is only a number when age is clearly a word.

Read all the books in Skyrm? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Perfect is not when two people are together, it’s when you’re both opposite but in a way you complete each other.

Leonard - Sheldon is afraid of the three tined fork.

Sheldon - Four tines is a fork, three tines is a trident. One is for eating, on is for ruling the seven seas.

Ladies, until a man has actually done something to make you dislike or not trust him, don’t make him pay for the troubles another man caused.

Don’t let your girl talk to another guy about her problems…a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.

Reasons why I’m a bitch…You’re fucking stupid!

Never lie, never cheat, steal or drink but…if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love, if you must steal, steal away your bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. If you must drink, drink in the moments that will take your breath away. - Will Smith.

Amy - Did you know that the iconic Valentines day heart shape, is not actually based on the shape of the heart, but rather on the shape of the buttocks of a woman bending over?

Penny - So I spent 7th grade dotting my I’s with little asses?

I don’t need anybody in my life, who doesn’t wanna be there!

Avi Pictures I Use For My Twitter Account:

Heather Moss

Shay Mitchell

Mila Kunis

Jenni “JWOWW” Farley

Sara Jean Underwood

More to come later in life…

Blogging, sitting on my bed, listening to some BFMV (Bullet For My Valentine) and typing on my blog. I haven’t listened to any new BFMV stuff because I don’t think they have come out with anything new. I wish they would. I miss Matt Tuck’s voice which is why I’m listening to him right now cuz I love him. He is the sexiest man alive other than Channing, Ian, and Taylor Lautner,

My day is going to be boring, maybe except getting pills from the drug store because I need more than 7 pills to get me thru the month.

I haven’t told anyone online in virtual land this but I have ADHD, Clinical Depression, and EXTREME anxiety, My panic attacks are very rare but they happen. I hate them, but I know that they happen for a reason.

I can’t stand my last job, I hope I never go there to eat, or just see people ever again, Because it was a total pain in the ass and I couldn’t stand some of the people that worked there. There was this lady there her name is Carol, she thought she was my boss but I hate to point out to that delusional bat that she wasn’t. Like one night, I was waitressing for the boss cuz the boss didn’t want to that night so I said I would do it. And I was already stressing out cuz I’ve never waitressed before but it was fun. UNTIL Carol came up to me and said, “You can start vacuuming now.” Like, UM, no bitch, I have people on both sides of the cafe, and I WILL NOT start right now. I don’t care if you want to get out of here RIGHT when we close I WILL START WHEN EVERYONE LEAVES! So, not only did she go there with me, she also came up to me 20+ minutes later and says, ” You know you have 3 things to do before you leave, right?” I’ve watched Betty, (the boss), close before. I am well aware that I have 3 things to do before I can go close, like I’m not stupid and don’t portray me as such, So, then the big boss Daniel, had a talk with her.

Then, there was this girl Nikki, who thought she was all that and a bag of diamonds. Which hate to point it out she wasn’t, she was completely the opposite. She yelled at me cuz I didnt get the pizza’s in on time but in my defense I had three trays of dishes to do, and she’s sitting at the counter eating, and tilling out don’t you think that you could at least, like IDK go do it yourself instead of making a giant scene in the kitchen and yelling at me to go do it?! Like come on! Grow the fuck up lady! Then she said, “Your fucking fired!” Like she was my boss or something which she wasn’t and will never be!

So that is the day in the life of the RL me, But I’m going to work on a back story for my RP account on Twitter so watch out for that!

I’d like to call bullshit on pretty much this entire reunion special but some of it I liked some of it I have my own opinions about. I’m not gonna keep it fake I’ll be real with you, I hate Erica Mena she is the reason why this show gets low ratings on certain episodes. She’s a wild cracker that needs to learn she ain’t gangsta and she is never gonna be. By telling Olivia Longott that you are the reason why she is on that stage is such literal bullshit. She has been on since season one hunni and you haven’t been interesting since that fight with Kimbella darling. So shut your fake ass mouth and learn how to be a lady not a low class whore.

Also, to piss me off even more about this reunion, Raqi this girl is sooo unbelievably stupid she makes me sick. I agree with Tahiry that she is the main problem for Jen, Rashidah and Cons. Raqi seems to believe she didn’t do anything wrong on that radio show um dude get real you didn’t have to answer his question about his dick, some rappers don’t want loose pussy bitch. Like get real you ain’t even cute your down right annoying and your forehead needs reconstruction to get that dent out. So bitch shut the fuck up.

Cons, Cons, Cons! Damn that boy is irritating as hell! You don’t go BEHIND SOMEONE AND HIT THEM! If you were a real G you’d do it infront of his face not behind Joey’s back like get over yourself. Also, visit a dentist thank you very much.

And Tahiry, I have no beef with you. You are amazing I downloaded your song “Devil” I love it!

Rashidah I love your shoes girl, if I could afford them I’d be rocking them while I waitress so yeah I love you too girl!

Jen, I like you and what you said to Raqi was nice. I’d say it to just to push her hoe buttons.

Joe, I like what you had to say to Cons. You may break a lot of hearts but I think you should’ve broken Con’s face. Just saying.

And Yandy, I’m sorry for Mendeces I hope he is home well.

xoxo,

Kaitlyn!

MASHO

Boys                                   Jobs                                    Cars                                    Color

                                                                                                                                       Car

1                                           1

2                                           2

3                                           3

4                                          4

# of kids             Color                                  Color

                              Dress                                Tux

1

2

3

4

Age of

Marriage

1

2

3

4

CONTEST STILL GOING ON FOR RULES LOOK AT MY LAST POST!

FOR TWITTER ONLY! (RP ONLY)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you can guess my avi who she is @LaliahT YOU GET YOUR CHARACTER AS MY TOPIC OF THE DAY! @ OR DM ME IF YOUR INTERESTED IN THIS CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going through a breakup is really fucking hard to do. (Sorry for the language) I just went through one and I really hate it I mean it affects so much of your life and you feel like your completely worthless and that you have no meaning. I’m feeling like crap and I’ve cried myself to sleep (well the break up happened yesterday) but I cried myself to sleep and I cried myself awake and I’m having terrible thoughts I should’ve never had and I still want them. I want nothing more than to be happy but I can’t be happy because I don’t want anything else to happen to me. I really just want this week to be over so I can go die in a hole. I feel like shit and I feel like I should be dead or close to death. I wanna die. My heart is broken and I’m completely numb. Dead gone alone abandoned everything that has to do with those words i’m feeling.

I know this is a little bit late considering the date but…here it is…

1-20-2013

Today, I started my job at Pizza Hut. I am the dishwasher/server person. And to make my day even better Andrew came and got me after work! We drove around to Pilot Gas Station, then to Ray, ND & he showed me everywhere he has gotten drunk. LOL.

Then he drove me home and we sat and talked in the driveway for about 10 minutes. I really do think that I found my soul mate. He is amazing, he makes me so happy, sometimes I overthink the current situation & I make myself believe stuff that I shouldn’t believe. And then I end up being super depressed and telling myself that I ain’t good enough and making myself believe it.

I then will say goodbye to him but the best thing about him is that he always says “no” or “I can’t lose you/” He is the most amazing man on the planet. And I can’t believe he is mine & that he wants to be with me for as long as I want to be with him which is forever. He is my dream man!

(By the way I quit my job at Pizza Hut cuz the fucking general manager accused me of stealing one of the servers tips…WHY THE FUCK WOULD I FUCKING DO THAT?!!!?!?! So I quit. And he said “Well, don’t put me down as a reference because I won’t give you one.” Then I said “Oh wow, cuz my fucking heart is gonna break if you don’t…” Then I hung up and my mom laughed her ass off cuz she hates my ex-boss too lol. So I moved in with my cousin and am taking care of her and her son Waylon until she has her baby in May.)

Missing my man. Baker. I feel unappreciated at times but I don’t know if this is how I am supposed to feel or if I am just supposed to feel GREAT AND PEPPY all the time for his sake so he feels like he’s doing his job at my boyfriend. I am wondering if getting back together was a smart move at all. I am seriously beginning to wonder why I feel so insecure about myself. I mean I know I am 199.6 pounds but I should feel appreciated by my man. I don’t however. He was supposed to help me move into my college dorm today but he didn’t. He promised he was going to visit me on move in day which happened to be today. And I don’t care if he is busy, he made a promise to his girlfriend, I mean I don’t want to be above his family or anything. But I want to be appreciated by someone other than MY FAMILY! I feel insecure, emotional, pained, forgotten, unappreciated, unwanted, and most of all I feel abandoned. I don’t know if I can do this for the entire school year. Maybe I can hold out for awhile longer but I feel like he just doesn’t want or need me at all in his life. Maybe I should go to bed before I tell him how I really feel and regret it. But for his sake, I won’t cheat on him this year. Especially, since he did hurt me today. But he doesn’t care. I wonder if he will ever care for me. Should I wait and find out? Or be forgotten and just be alone all year?   I am confused. HELP!!!!!!!

Today is my birthday. My mom and I were supposed to go to Minot but she is ignoring me and talking to her friends. Some birthday huh?

I am so excited to start college. I mean, its a new start, a new life. Time to find some new friends with some great new ideas to slurge into my brain. I am so excited I can’t believe that I’m saying that about school but I am. My major is Mental Health/ Addiction Technician.This is what I would do probably.

 A mental health technician is a person who has completed training, at minimum, to a certifiednursing assistant level. They work with people who are mentally ill, recovering from drug oralcohol addiction, have mental disorders like retardation, or are in crisis of other sorts. Techs work in a variety of venues that can include long-term care facilities, psychiatric hospitals,addiction treatment facilities, standard hospitals, nursing homes and possibly schools for people with mental retardation. They may also be called psychiatric techs, mental health aides, or psychiatric aides.

Generally, the mental health technician is part of a team that can include doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, and nurses. In many hospitals, techs often directly answer to nurses. They may also report to other members of the health care team, especially to allied health professionals like occupational or standard therapists. (Copyrighted from http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-a-mental-health-technician-do.htm ) Yeah I am excited.